The Hallelujah Complex

Monday, September 19, 2005

BLOG MODE

It's about time I got back into this. Believe me when I say that I've been collecting a lot of material for this blog, but have spent another year in full posting jack. Well, guess what? I'm going to start intersparsing the organized analysis with Hallelujah Complex news and commentaries. Beginning with this one...

You know who sucks?
Carson Daily.

Why do I mention this on my Hallelujah Complex blog, of all places? Because his late night talk show (on NBC after Conan O'Brien) is exactly the kind of crap-on-a-stick program that the Evangelical Christian sub-culture would put out (sans religion). The entire show can be summed up in three words:
trying too hard
It's a solid hour of a mediocre, untalented, unfunny man trying way too hard to act like a professional late-night talk show host. Every single one of his comments or jokes is a desperate attempt to imitate what's popular...and the result is a mundane, mediocre, half-baked product. Heck, even his band has just the sort of name that a band would half-assedly throw together in an attempt to sound like a cool band that young people listen to: "No Need For a Name". Could you have picked a more predictable name?
Here's a sample of the sort of dialogue you may hear between Carson Daily and one of his celebrity guests (who, miraculously, continue to appear on his show...Providence seems to at least favor Daily over the Evangelical shows themselves):
Carson: So, I hear you're making a new movie? Nice. That must be good times.
Jeff Goldblum: Yes, Carson. Yes it is.
Carson: That Elizabeth Hurley, she's hot. Really nice.
Jeff: Yes she is, Carson. She is very good looking.
Carson: So, um, we have a doctored photo here of Elizabeth Hurley. As you can see, she looks like she's on a topless dance floor.
Jeff: Yes, I see that.
Carson: Of course, she's not. It's a doctored photo. We did it with photo shop. That's why it's funny.
Jeff: I see.
Carson: So, uh, it's really good times, huh? Good times.Haha.

Take away the crude jokes and add a preachy agenda and you've got a carbon copy of almost every Evangelical talk show, game show, novel, rock concert, soap opera and movie-packaged attempt to be hip.

¶ 11:10 PM